LuckyR wrote: ↑September 13th, 2018, 3:42 pmThe first one was about a second long. The second was maybe 15-30 minutes. I don't think there was time dilation.Greta wrote:So they both happened while I was on the upswing, and specifically at a time when I was feeling especially good. With the first there was no choice - it came unexpectedly and was gone just as quickly.Thanks for the contextual info. If you don't mind my asking, what sort of real time frame are we talking about, start to finish? Seconds, minutes, hours?
With the second there was a sense of allowing it happen. The words "Why not?" were perhaps most prominent in my mind just as I could feel something quite bizarre and extraordinary coming on. I could have stopped the experience happening if I chose, or if I became negative or cynical and messed it up, but I was in an especially good mood and went with the flow and it worked out. I think I might have killed off a few through over-anticipation since, but it's hard to know if it's imagination or not - or if that even matters!
Was there the perception of time expansion?
Some of the less unhinged observations I recorded afterwards:
I was imagining getting into the kind of zone a master musician would experience – to imagine what it would feel like to play it. As Hal Galper says, if you can hear it you can play it. Why not have the audacity to let yourself hear it just like the great artists you hear? I have always been so far from the zone – almost an anti-zone, which really sucks. I feel like I cannot allow myself to succeed. Because I’m not the kind of person who deserves to succeed.That just reminded me of an important, probably critical, aspect of inducing the experience that I'd forgotten about - I was going after the present moment very hard, trying to refine it to an ever finer point as opposed to me usual "fuzzy present" that includes past resonances and future anticipation.
Anyway, I was trying to get my mind to a point where it was entirely still and there would be no thought or emotions or physical movement - only experience. I felt every part of my body – vibrantly alive – the muscles, the bones, the organs, breathing, heartbeat, blood flowing ...
Then I could feel that I could conceivably bring myself so into the moment that I could almost disappear – into the all-pervading field of … being. Absolutely all-pervading, massively and overwhelmingly so. If it was sound it would have had the intensity of deafening white noise – it was THAT all-pervading. It was like an endlessly deep well into which I could fall if I stilled to the point of being 100% in the moment.
I felt like I could almost combust with the intensity of it. I saw death ahead – and it was absolutely [expletive] incredible! It was everything you ever wanted – ultimate peace, ultimate rightness and connection – just there and then … nothingness? A different kind of consciousness?