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My system to achieve wild huge goals and massive external success works precisely because it is not based on exhausting uses of willpower, extreme hard work, or roller-coaster-like unsustainable overcompensating bursts of extremist pseudo-apologetic behavior.

You might ask, what is a "roller-coaster-like unsustainable overcompensating burst of extremist pseudo-apologetic behavior". Let these examples answers that question: Consider the cheating spouse who buys you a ridiculously huge bouquet of flowers and beggingly promises with a flood of tears that "it won't happen again", after 15th it's happened. Or consider the binge eater who then goes on an overcompensating crash diet only to binge eat again.

Overcompensating bursts of extremist pseudo-apologetic behavior contribute to the roller-coaster-like cycle, meaning they contribute to their opposite. For example, crash dieting pushes you right back to even more binge eating. In other words, crash dieting ultimately causes you to gain yet more weight. The overcompensation leads you back to the thing for which you are overcompensating.

An apology without changed behavior is dishonest abusive manipulation. That is especially true when the person to whom you are dishonestly apologizing to and dishonestly making promises to is yourself. Actions speak infinitely louder than words, and the only real apology is truly changed behavior and changed habits, which is not done with unsustainable or manipulative bursts of overcompensation, but rather it is done through utilizing the power of micro-habits, small changes over time, and most of all consistency.

Drastic sudden seeming changes to behavior are deceiving manipulations that, to the wiser eye, actually reveal a lack of real change in behavior. Real change is going to be gradual, almost imperceptible in the short-term. The gradualness of the change in habits, and the honest accepting attitude about that gradualness, is the sign that the person is finally engaging in real change.

Without consistency, you have nothing, meaning no chance of progress in terms of actually changing your habits or truly apologizing by changing the big behavior you want to change, such as going from being alcoholic to being totally sober permanently, or losing 100 lbs and keeping it off permanently, or being the very rare exception to the typically very accurate rule of once a cheater always a cheater.

I'll say it again, without consistency, you have nothing. And unsustainable bursts of overcompensation (e.g. crash diets or ridiculous tear-ridden over-promising to a scorned spouse or the human in the mirror) effectively guarantee you won't have consistency.

You cannot jump up a big staircase.

The jumpers will stay at the bottom. Beware of the jumpers who promise to jump for you, especially if that human making the promise to you is the human in the mirror. They cannot do what they promise they will. It is physically impossible. You cannot jump up a big staircase. People who deep down are committed to staying at the bottom where they are now are the ones who jump and promise to jump and show you how allegedly committed they are to getting to the top by jumping ridiculously high.

You consistency by being brutally honest with yourselves, and taking it one small step a time.

Small steps combined with consistency are powerful.

People use big (and thus ineffective) steps to futilely overcompensate for and/or dishonestly hide their consistent choice to not take the small steps that actually work.

They use big (and thus ineffective) steps to manipulate you and/or themselves into thinking they are really "working hard" towards the goal and really "trying" so hard and really making major progress. It's nonsense and lies. The flashiness and overdoingness of it is the proof.

People who are really going to go the distance, meaning also thus people who are really committed to going to the distance, do so by going one small step at a time.

They use--and only use--the power of micro-habits and consistency. They make small true permanent changes, gradually one after the other, with consistency.

And it adds up!

Even just 10 minutes per day is over 60 hours in a year.

Imagine what you can do putting 60 hours of focused wide-awake dedicated time to a project.

The overcompensating jumpers would do that 60 hours of work all in the next 60 hours, or dishonestly attempt to stuff 60 hours of work into the next one hour. Have you seen the gym on January 1st? When I say these people are being dishonest, take note that the one the lie to the most is themselves. You can almost hear them manipulatively saying into the mirror, "I am really committed this time."

No, you aren't.

You can almost hear them say into the mirror, "Look how insanely hard I am working! Look how much willpower I'm using! This is true commitment!"

No, it's not.

Show me someone who works out really hard for two hours straight on January 1st and I'll show you someone who's not committed and will probably be gone in less a week.

In contrast, show me someone who has gone to the gym and worked out lightly for just 10 minutes a day, no more no less, just 10 measly light minutes, every single day without a missing a day for the last three weeks straight, and I'll show you someone who is committed. I'll show you someone who is going to achieve such incredible results in terms of their fitness that you ultimately will struggle to believe your eyes. I'll show you someone who is going to start getting DMs and text messages from people begging for the secret. "How did you do it?", the will ask.

Show me someone who has lost 25 lbs in the past two weeks, and I'll show you someone who is going to very soon end up being even fatter than when they started whatever diet they are on.

In contrast, show me someone who has lost 0.5 lbs every week for the past 10 weeks, consistently week after week, and I'll show you someone who's likely to stick with their alleged lifestyle change. I'll show you someone who is probably not only going to reach their goal weight but stay there long-term, even if they have a 100 lbs left to lose to get there.

Those are just a couple silly examples of infinite.

Some of the biggest most wildest goals you could imagine are just a series of tiny steps away. There is nothing holding you back. There is nothing forcer the cheater to cheater. There is nothing forcing the drinker to drink. There is nothing forcing you to keep playing the dishonest game of futilely jumping up the staircase only to stay at the bottom. Those at the bottom of the proverbial staircase are choosing to be there, and that's fine. And they are choosing to lie to themselves about why they are and about the fact they are choosing it. And that's fine to. To each their own. Let the liars lie to themselves. Let the choosers choose what they choose.

It's not hard. It doesn't take tons of willpower. It doesn't require hard work. It doesn't require big grand gestures or proverbial jumping or floods of teary-eyed over-apologizing to yourself others; quite the opposite, actually: it requires you let go of all those dishonest games.

It just requires consistency, that you consistently walk the super easy path, one tiny super easy step after another. Tiny easy step after tiny easy step, consistently. It's just a simple infinitely easy choice.

And whatever you choose is right. It's right for you. As my book says, on page 153, "By letting go of false moralizing language, the false idea that life is merely some test upon which you must find the singular right answer lest you be naughty, you then realize that life is a blank canvas of infinite equally right possibilities upon which you choose to creatively and artistically create. You don’t find the right answer; you create it. Whatever you choose to do becomes right—becomes true, becomes real, becomes part of reality, becomes revealed as seemingly fated all along—because you choose it."

You have so much power and so many different paths in front of you now from which to choose. It is like blank canvass on which you can paint any one thing of infinite things, infinite options, and you get whichever you want. A common one is to just jump around dishonestly and leave the canvas kind of blank, which is fine. You can have whatever you choose.

What do you choose?

Whatever it is, I respect it and lovingly accept it. I respect your spiritual freedom. I acknowledge that if I was in your shoes I would do exactly what you do, and thus as part of my love of myself, I love you and love whatever you choose do, just like I love the sky and whatever it chooses to do. I like your choices like I look at weather. I don't control them, but I often notice them, and when I do notice them, I do so without judgement, without moralizing, but simply with loving acceptance. I may respond in some way, such as by gracefully opening an umbrella, but such response will always be graceful and come from a place of loving acceptance, not resentment, hate, or judgement.

You are free, whether you like or not, whether you admit it to yourself or not. I happily look forward to seeing what you choose to do with your freedom and incredible power and infinite array of vast opportunities.


With love,
Eckhart Aurelius Hughes
a.k.a. Scott




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In addition to having authored his book, In It Together, Eckhart Aurelius Hughes (a.k.a. Scott) runs a mentoring program, with a free option, that guarantees success. Success is guaranteed for anyone who follows the program.

Be real to yourself and don't sugar coat any situation. If you can't do something, then don't even try but if you are sure you can do it, then choose to do it. Also, actions speak louder than words. Let me use an example of my self. After I gave birth, I told my self I would work out but I kept procrastinating. My body was totally out of shape. But about a few weeks ago, I chose to work on my self and I have started seeing great results. I didn't jump a step in my work out routine by probably taking slimming pills but rather spent 30 minutes a day doing a work out. I don't do much but only do what I know I can handle. I am not pushing myself hard because what's the point if you will get injuries.

I've been applying this concept and commenting with you on X on this topic. I've gone from trying to do six big things at once to finishing one microtask first. It's much more productive, and I get a great feeling of accomplishment when each one is finished.

The concept of breaking a big goal down into microtasks is very effective. It inspires ongoing commitment because progress is visible and there's constant achievements to acknowledge and celebrate. I attended a course years ago where the instructor proved how inefficient multitasking is. Breaking a big task down into smaller components is also effective to curb multitasking. It's easier to finish one thing before moving on to the next if it doesn't require a huge amount of time.

True words. Change often begins with small steps. Consistency is the key to making these small steps add up to significant progress over time. When someone is trying to alter their behavior or mindset, expecting immediate and drastic transformation is often unrealistic. Instead, focusing on manageable, incremental changes allows for sustainable growth. Taking small steps makes the process less overwhelming and more achievable. It also allows for regular reflection and adjustment, ensuring that the changes are genuinely beneficial and lasting.

Consistency is the key. I have been trying to overcome a habit but I kept feeding myself that which will trigger it. I knew I was actually manipulating myself. But I believe I will hold the bull by the horns one day and reward myself with a change of behavior. It only requires I am consistently starving the trigger.

Breaking down large goals into smaller, manageable steps is a cornerstone of effective achievement. This microtask approach fosters consistency and motivation by providing tangible milestones. It also prevents the overwhelming distraction of multitasking, allowing for focused progress.
Additionally, honesty is essential in this process. Recognizing limitations and setting realistic expectations is crucial. Instead of striving for immediate, drastic changes, gradual progress through sustainable methods is key.

My system works because it relies on consistent, manageable practices rather than depending on willpower, intense effort, or short-term, unsustainable fixes. By focusing on sustainable habits and honest adjustments, it fosters long-term success and stability. This approach avoids the pitfalls of temporary overcompensation and builds a more resilient foundation.

Dividing a large objective into smaller, manageable microtasks is a highly effective strategy. This approach fosters sustained motivation and engagement, as tangible progress is continually evident, allowing for regular recognition and celebration of accomplishments, which in turn reinforces commitment and drives further success.

I relate to everything said in the post. It aligns with my beliefs and atomic habits; taking small steps is better than big chunks for consistency and progress.

I have this inconsistent thing. It mainly results from insecurities and impatient. For example, I can start an online course to boost my skills, then somewhere in the process, I will quit because what I'm learning can be done by AIs and I see learning it to be useless. The funny part is after a while I will again regret why I didn't finish. This post is a direct message to me, and I look forward to learning more from this forum and changing myself to a better person.

Sudden, drastic changes sure don't work; I'm a witness to that.
The problem is we want things to change without building the structure that will sustain the change. It can't work like that.

Eckhart Aurelius Hughes wrote: ↑March 7th, 2024, 3:59 pm
Small steps combined with consistency are powerful.
the power of micro-habits and consistency.

Easy stress-free micro habits with consistency are truly efficient means to reach the target. When we see the small but steady progress, it creates a positive impact.

I agree with what you are saying, and I choose small consistent steps over small bursts of effort and overcompensating moves. Small bursts of effort can give some satisfaction for a short time, but with no ultimate and long lasting gains. Being consistent is not easy, but there are no shortcuts to success.

CONSISTENCY

Indeed, consistency is a key to make any progress in an endeavour or task. The advice of starting a big task in microhabits is a good idea. When we start doing a thing in little steps , we have more energies to continue because of the little effort required to kick start that specific activity. The art of practising the skill of micro habits can have great effects on one's work.