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Cowardice vs Brave Vulnerability | "It's important to get comfortable about being vulnerable and asking for help."

Posted: April 6th, 2023, 1:12 pm
by Eckhart Aurelius Hughes
Here is a quote I love from the author of the book, The Smartest Person in the Room:
Christian Espinosa wrote:It's important to get comfortable about being vulnerable and asking for help. There will always be people who can help you with your entrepreneurial journey.
It reminds me of a tweet I made one time: "To one who is spiritually free, vulnerability is preferable to cowardice."

In my own book, I talk about (1) how every single human is on the addiction spectrum, (2) how addiction to comfort and the comfort zone is the most common addiction, and (3) how addiction to comfort and the comfort zone is what fundamentally underlies most if not all other addictions.

We can typically describe cowards as simply being those comfort-addicts who find fear uncomfortable.

Cowards are not willing to be bravely vulnerable. Cowards instead want to and choose to futilely chase the false idols of safety and comfort.

As a human, if your number one goal in life is not to die, then you are guaranteed to fail.

Likewise, if your number one goal in life is not feel fear or discomfort, then you are guaranteed to fail.

You can win a billion-dollar lottery, land your dream job, become famous, inherit a huge wonderful mansion with the most comfortable beds in the world. You will still feel lots of fear and discomfort throughout the rest of your life. And then you will die.

Those words might be disturbing or upsetting to those lacking bravery, inner peace, and spiritual freedom.

But, to those like me who have inner peace and spiritual freedom (e.g. bravery), those logically undeniable facts are not disturbing, and we do not meet them with dishonest or cowardly denial. For us, those facts are part of what makes life wonderful and so inherently worth living.

Accepting the inevitable death of the false self--meaning the human body and ego--frees the true self (i.e. the spirit, meaning your true conscious self, or in a sense consciousness itself). Thus, the inevitably of human death is a wonderful gift and blessing. Moreover, the knowledge of the inevitably of your human death is also a wonderful gift and blessing. It frees you from your false identification with a false fictional dreamy avatar.

Just as inevitable death of the human body is a gift, so too is the unavoidable recurring discomfort, including fear and vulnerability, that all humans will feel over and over for the rest of their life no matter what.

I love Christian's quote, and agree wholeheartedly with the sentiment and intended meaning, but if it was me I'd rephrase the first few words to say, "It's important to embrace the discomfort of being afraid and vulnerable..."

The intended meaning would be the same, I think, but my wording would help underline the fact that comfort addiction is the most common addiction. In that way, it would underline the very nature of the human condition.

What I call "spiritual freedom" is also known as "self-discipline" (two terms for the exact same thing) and an example of it is bravery, which is also known as courage.

To a coward lacking spiritual freedom, fear is like the water in which they are drowning. Having free-spirited inner peace (i.e. 'transcendence') is like learning to swim. To the brave, the fear is not bad. To us, who have this free-spirited invincible inner peace, both the yin and the yang are beautiful and good, and even better is the beautiful yin-yang as a whole. If comfort is the ups of the roller coaster, and fear and discomfort are the downs, we who have free-spirited inner peace love both the ups and the inherently equal downs and perhaps most of all love the roller coaster as a whole. We are so thankful that we have downs allowing ups, and ups allowing downs. We are happy to be vulnerable and afraid. We are invincibly brave.



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Re: Cowardice vs Brave Vulnerability | "It's important to get comfortable about being vulnerable and asking for help."

Posted: April 7th, 2023, 1:50 am
by Sushan
Your perspective on the importance of embracing discomfort, fear, and vulnerability as essential components of the human experience is both insightful and thought-provoking. The idea of spiritual freedom or self-discipline as a means to transcend our instinctive aversion to discomfort and the inevitable realities of life, such as death, provides an interesting framework for understanding personal growth and well-being.

Your emphasis on the prevalence of comfort addiction highlights the role that societal expectations and personal insecurities may play in perpetuating this phenomenon. It is crucial to recognize that seeking comfort and avoiding discomfort are not inherently bad; however, when they become our primary driving forces, they can stifle growth, self-discovery, and the cultivation of resilience.

I appreciate your rephrasing of Christian's quote to underscore the importance of not just getting comfortable with discomfort but actively embracing it. This shift in perspective acknowledges the inherent challenges of life and encourages individuals to lean into these challenges rather than shy away from them. By doing so, we are more likely to develop the resilience and adaptability necessary to navigate the complexities of our existence.

Moreover, your analogy of the roller coaster aptly captures the interplay between the highs and lows of life, emphasizing that both aspects are valuable and integral to the human experience. This holistic perspective encourages the acceptance and appreciation of life's dualities, fostering a more balanced and harmonious approach to living.

However, it is essential to acknowledge that the pursuit of spiritual freedom and self-discipline may not always be a linear or universally accessible journey. Each individual's path is shaped by their unique experiences, challenges, and personal circumstances. It is crucial to approach this discussion with empathy and understanding, recognizing that what may work for one person might not be universally applicable or easily achievable for others.

In conclusion, your reflections on the importance of embracing discomfort, vulnerability, and fear as part of the human experience offer valuable insights for fostering personal growth, resilience, and self-awareness. The pursuit of spiritual freedom or self-discipline may provide a pathway for transcending our comfort-seeking tendencies and embracing the complexities and dualities inherent in life. However, it is vital to approach this journey with empathy and respect for the unique experiences and challenges that each individual faces. What strategies or practices have you found helpful in cultivating this sense of spiritual freedom, and how can we support others in their pursuit of a more authentic and balanced life?