Philosophy Discussion Forums | A Humans-Only Club for Open-Minded Discussion & Debate

[Lorna Philip Enslin]

I use these words when I'm not committed to the task at hand. How interesting!

[Moisés Alcántara Ayre]

Hi Scott,
Do you believe that we are programmed to think and believe in specific ways and that this can be unlearned?

Moises

[Ukaegbu Confidence]

There's nothing like try. You either do or you don't.

[Emmanuel Asamoah 5]

This is a discussion forum topic for the November 2022 Philosophy Book of the Month, In It Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All.


My book, In It Together, helps the willing reader to willfully reprogram their mind to be much more precise, peaceful, and conducive to happiness and incredible success, such as by doing one's best to let go of dangerous misery-inducing words like:

- must

- have to

- need to

- should

- ought

- try


If you want my advice, then I give you this: I recommend you do your absolute best to avoid saying or even thinking any of the above six phrases.

In the sense of destroying your happiness, and potentially making you depressed, willfully using words like those above are like the fire that destroys a beloved house. The fire is both the most noticeable symptom and the primary cause. Fire begets yet more fire. What causes the big fire is the small fire, and before that the tiny flame. It is the cause and the symptom.

The human mind is a narrative-making machine. Waking life is much, much, much more similar to a dream at night than most people realize. What you see--and even the concept of sight itself--is so much more of a figment of your mind's imagination than you probably realize.

Miserable people tell themselves miserable stories, and miserable stories make people more miserable. It's a feedback loop, like a spreading fire, or even a consuming cancer.

It's not just about happiness, because free-spirited happiness leads to success, not vice versa. So it's also about success--incredible success--in business, finance, family life, romantic relationships, and even fitness goals.

My book teaches you that you are not your mind, meaning you don't have to believe what the mind says, but my book also shows you how easily you can reprogram your mind, so that it can serve you rather than have you serve it, as if you were a slave, a prisoner in your own body. You can free yourself, your true self. You can free your spirit, meaning you can be free-spirited. And, then, you can reprogram your mind. It's much like swapping out parts in your car, or reformatting the hard-drive on your home computer.

As always, the choice is yours, and when it comes to your choices, you always get exactly what you want.


With love,
Eckhart Aurelius Hughes




---
In addition to having authored his book, In It Together, Eckhart Aurelius Hughes (a.k.a. Scott) runs a mentoring program, with a free option, that guarantees success. Success is guaranteed for anyone who follows the program, both for the free option and the paid option. If you follow the program but don't achieve your goal, you'll get your money back plus $100. For the free option, that means you will still get paid $100 if you don't achieve your goal using his free advice and free system.

It's only 26 days into the mentoring program and yet your insights keep me unstoppable and untouchable. Thank you Scott.

[Risper Ouma Lisa Anyango]

I don't think must is a word that is negative. To me, using the word must gives me a sense of responsibility and I always strive to do what I said I must do because its compulsory for me to do so.

[Alida Spies]

I get what you're saying about reprogramming the mind. So even in a mundane situation that will not create negative feelings, don't use the six dangerous words. As an example, it won't cause stress if you say, "I must go to the bank to draw cash." You could as easily say, "I want to go to the bank to draw cash." The last sentence strengthens the reprogramming.

Thanks for sharing.

[Wemby Jordan]

Yes, you are right. Words have a certain power over our moods. These words are some that affect us negatively.

[Shirley Labzentis]

I have read "In It Together" three times, and I am fully aware of the Six Dangerous Misery-Inducing Words. The one that I have the most problem with is "Should." It still goes through my mind that "I should" call my son, daughter, or grandsons. I try to turn it around and say, "I will call." I am more aware of these six words when I am reading a post from someone else, and I think, "Oops! They did not read In It Together!"

[Ashleigh Henderson 1]

That's a completely new perspective! I've always clung to "try" because of the "no pain, no gain" mentality. However, your explanation makes a lot of sense, and it's definitely worth considering a different approach.

[Ashleigh Henderson 1]

hat's great that you've taken "In It Together" to heart! It sounds like you're really working on replacing "should" with a more action-oriented approach, especially when it comes to connecting with family.

[Pimporn Chandee1]

A book entitled “The Psychology of Miserable Words” with real life examples awaits the author.

Thank you for the reminder for one to think positive thoughts and be "perfectly enough of everything".

[Silvia Orenge]

I totally agree with the fiest 5, Scott. Especially when in a relationship, always telling the other person what they should be doing is not going to help anyone and will drive people apart. Also, with negative self talk, as often these words may creep into our thoughts and create negative feelings.

I do wonder about "try" though and why this is negative? especially with kids for example, I think trying is a positive thing. E.g.: I may say to my young kids "wow that's great you tried to build that tower, even if it fell over. Perhaps we can try again?"

Perhaps you could give me an example?

[mrlefty0706]

Since reading "In it Together" and learning these six dangerous misery-inducing words I have focused on not using any of these words in written or oral form. For most people I would think it is a challenge to remove these words from one's vocabulary.

[Daniel Obi 2]

Ugh, I totally get you on those sneaky words! They worm their way into our brains when we're young, and next thing you know, they're controlling how we see everything – rules, chores, even our own talents. It's like they're these little gremlins hiding in my vocabulary, whispering things like "you HAVE to work through lunch" at work (even though deep down, I know it's more of a "should" or an "ought to" kind of thing). Seriously, it's kind of depressing to realize I've been putting this pressure on myself all along!

[Kathy Smith 16]

"Try" is my biggest roadblock that I'm working through. I have trouble moving past equating "trying" with "possibly failing," but now I keep reminding myself that I'm "doing," and the consistent progress I am making just by "doing" instead of "trying" is very gratifying.