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Discuss the November 2022 Philosophy Book of the Month, In It Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All by Eckhart Aurelius Hughes.

To post in this forum, you must buy and read the book. After buying the book, please upload a screenshot of your receipt or proof or purchase via OnlineBookClub. Once the moderators approve your purchase at OnlineBookClub, you will then also automatically be given access to post in this forum.
#459470
I have never had to thunk big lifes choices and never even sat down to think about whether or not I wanted to do something. I always just decide to or not to do it. I have had a few regrets but thise regret are due to decisions other people made for me during my childhood and I wouldn't have made the made choices of it were upto me.
In It Together review: https://forums.onlinebookclub.org/viewt ... p?t=489094
#460164
We must indeed be clear about each decision that we take. But what about those decisions on which your life, and career depend? Sometimes you have to listen to your dear ones but your heart is choosing something else, and your mind is playing games with you. What will you do in those situations? Will you choose your dear ones, your heart, or your mind to lead the path ahead?
#460259
Eckhart Aurelius Hughes wrote: December 23rd, 2023, 2:25 pm I can be so decisive because I don't really care. A or B? I don't really care. I'm happy to delegate to you to choose because I don't care, but I can also quickly and decisively flip a mental coin in my head and choose without wasting any mental energy because I don't care.
This! When I'm working or concentrating on something that needs undivided attention and my husband asks me what I want to eat for lunch, I say exactly this. I don't care what we eat, I'm happy not to waste mental space on that decision, it's up to you.
In It Together review: https://forums.onlinebookclub.org/viewt ... p?t=493266
#460313
Delegating and then only assisting when asked, are traits of a good leader. It's an art. Being a good manager is easy, many books teach how to do it. Both are required.

Analysis paralysis or decision paralysis is a waste of time and will cause unhappiness. Make a decision and move forward. Most decisions aren't life-altering.
In It Together review: https://forums.onlinebookclub.org/viewt ... p?t=491308
#460356
mark liu wrote: April 16th, 2024, 4:47 pm I've always thought that old advice from my grandmother rings home well here. Flip a coin and if you're disappointed in the outcome then best to go with the other choice. That being said if you're disappointed with both choices then maybe that's a whole other issue.
I was thinking along similar lines to the advice from your grandmother when reading through this post. Whether someone is making a decision related to a big or small matter, choosing one option by flipping a coin or other means and seeing if you feel disappointment or joy with the result can really help to determine where your gut is leading you.

I think that often when someone is experiencing decision paralysis they are making a decision out to be bigger than it actually is and giving it the power to hold their thoughts hostage. Decisions do not always have to only have two options and in some circumstances if a decision does not work out as well as someone was hoping they can try something else instead. The "all or nothing" mindset seems to be a big contributor to this decision paralysis.
#460813
I hate getting stuck trying to decide something! Especially when there are a million options, right? It's like I'm scared to pick the wrong one and mess everything up. But this thing I read says that not all decisions are created equal. Some are just little things, and others are way bigger deals. So, if I can focus on the important stuff, it won't feel so overwhelming. This way, I won't waste all my brainpower on tiny choices and can save it for the ones that really matter.
#460814
This totally clicked with me! Instead of getting stuck on what to do all the time, it makes so much sense to put my mental effort into figuring out how to do it. It's like focusing on the "how" instead of just the "what." Thanks for this awesome tip! Now I can stop stressing about every little decision and put my brainpower towards making things happen.
#461205
We should save our mental energy for things that matter. We should use our mental energy on the how, not the what. Energy spent on hows tends to be much more productive than energy wasted on deciding between two roughly equal whats. When any answer is right, the only wrong answer is no answer. That was really deep! Such an occurance takes place when the concept of karma entirely pervades and saturates our existence.
#461222
"I appreciate your perspective on decisiveness and overcoming decision paralysis. While being easy-going and accepting is valuable, I believe there's room for both that and a more nuanced approach to decision-making.

Not all choices are equal. Sure, sometimes picking pizza over burgers might not be a life-altering decision. But what about bigger choices, like career paths or investments? Here, a bit more analysis and consideration can lead to significantly better outcomes.

Completely detaching yourself from the decision itself might also miss an opportunity for learning and growth. Taking the time to weigh options, even seemingly similar ones, can help us understand our priorities and values better.

Flipping a mental coin can work in a pinch, but for important choices, a thoughtful evaluation can lead to a more fulfilling outcome, even if it takes a bit more time and energy upfront. Perhaps the key lies in finding a balance between overthinking and complete indifference."

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