Philosophy Discussion Forums | A Humans-Only Club for Open-Minded Discussion & Debate

[BlackandAmber_8]

The most important step to take is realising that no one is coming.

[Dalia Chaouaf]

I agree, these are great principles to follow. I just wish there weren't so many obstacles in life. Up until now I just found wall after wall in my path, so it's hard to believe these principles can be enough to succeed in life. But I'll keep trying and keep going, giving up is not an option for sure!

[Nqobile Mashinini Tshabalala]

"You don't have to do anything". I am battling with this one. I am battling to stay still and not do anything. I suppose we live in a world where doing nothing or resting is viewed as being lazy.

[Samantha Green Tolson]

I understand that at the end of the day, everything is a choice. It is a philosophy that I have followed and shared with others because it is "true" in a sense. No matter what the situation, you decide what you are going to do. "You never have to do anything, you choose to do everything."

The example that I use most is getting a speeding ticket. The police officer turns on his lights because you were speeding, and by law you are supposed to pull over, but at the end of it you are still making the choice to pull over or not.

Even knowing this though, I still cannot bring myself to think that your three "principles" are true.

What about mental illness? Is addiction really as simple as "I choose to stop?" What about biological factors?

[Prince Oyedeji Oyeleke Jayeola]

Happiness means different things to people. I agree with you that happiness is a choice, a choice that I choose at all times irrespective of what might happen.

[Eckhart Aurelius Hughes]

'You don't have to do anything.'
I am still trying to integrate this idea into my reality. I have a hard time saying 'no' to people and end up getting burned out. To me this translates to: you are not obligated to meet anyone's expectations or comply with their demands if you don't want to.

Yes, that is a great way of saying it.

However, it also implies that you need to take action for yourself to escape situations where you feel pressured to do things you don't want to do, regardless of the context in your life, family, friends, work, etc.

Perhaps, depending on exactly what you mean. In any case, note that "need to" is just another phrase for "have to". So replacing "have to" with "need to" is not progress.

You don't have to do anything. You don't need to do anything.

[Eckhart Aurelius Hughes]

I want to get to a place where my first instinct isn't to just accept but to first evaluate if it is what I want and/or if it is something that would bring me happiness or help me reach my definition of success. I love your point that we aren't obligated to meet anyone's expectations or comply with their demands, but I find that fearing their reaction is what holds me back

When they react, do you feel like you made them react that way?

If so, re-evaluating that might help you as well.

You can't make other people feel a certain way. You can't make people feel anger or happiness or sadness or hunger.

If other people choose to have expectations, they will ultimately feel disappointed, frustrated, and angry. The only way for them to reduce that significantly is for them to choose to stop having expectations, not for you to be a slave to their expectations.

If anyone is to blame for an expecters frustration when you don't meet their expectations, it's the expecter, not you. It's definitely not you.

Their expectations, and the misery they cause the expecter when unmet, are the expecter's problem and responsibility not yours.

A big part of self-responsibility (a.k.a. freedom) is not taking undue responsiblity for others, including their expectations and the
negative feelings the expectations inevitably cause for the expecter.


With love,
Eckhart Aurelius Hughes

[Eckhart Aurelius Hughes]

I just wish there weren't so many obstacles in life.

My advice, if you want it: Let go of the wishing.

Let go of that particular wish, and then let go of any and all wishing.

Instead, fully and unconditionally accept what you cannot control. In other words, fully and unconditionally accept what you cannot change.

But I'll keep trying and keep going, giving up is not an option for sure!

I enjoy that sentiment, but here is my advice if you want it: let go of the trying too.

As Master Yoda taught: Do or do not; there is no try.


With love,
Eckhart Aurelius Hughes

[Eckhart Aurelius Hughes]

"You don't have to do anything". I am battling with this one. I am battling to stay still and not do anything. I suppose we live in a world where doing nothing or resting is viewed as being lazy.

Can you explain to me what you mean by the word "battling" in this context exactly? What are you doing and thinking exactly when this battling is going on?

[Eckhart Aurelius Hughes]

Even knowing this though, I still cannot bring myself to think that your three "principles" are true.

Are you saying you think all three principles are each false?

Regardless, may I ask, did you read my book, "In It Together" in full already? If so, what was the very first sentence in the book with which you did not agree?

What about mental illness? Is addiction really as simple as "I choose to stop?"

I think you might have me and my book confused with someone else. I never said, "addiction is as simple as 'I choose to stop'."

[Mehul P]

I like how the third point clarifies the first one. "You don't have to do anything, however, to get what you want, there are things you have to do."

These are great principles. Coincidentally, my OnlineBookClub signature is,

Insofar as the word 'should' even has meaning, then we must say that the past is exactly as it should be, everything that happened should have happened, and everything that should happen will happen.

I still love the quote, and I'm always happy to see you refer to it in most of your posts.

In It Together hast been a great guide.

I second that. The third just completely backs the first one and then explains it furthermore for everyone to understand the essence of it. I'm really looking forward to the book. I've already bought it and plan to start it the following week.

[Hyfr Zack]

I agree with you on this. What will be will be no matter how you stress the situation. Happiness is a different case for everyone. What a person sees as happiness might be another person's sadness.

[Chinenye Sus]

I love this philosophical way of thinking. Happiness is something that sounds complex but it really isn't. Your points about happiness works hand in hand and complements each other in some way.

[Hy Be]

Amazing tips to live life successful and happily.

[PanwarP]

I find it difficult to say no to people and eventually burn out. This means, to me, that you are free to refuse to comply with someone's requests or to live up to their expectations. It also suggests that in order to get out of circumstances when you feel under pressure to do things you don't want to do, you must act on your own behalf.