Philosophy Discussion Forums

Learning to accept things that cannot be changed as what they are "cannot be changed" has helped me move on quickly from things that should have slowed me down, hurt me or even put me in depression. I have the outlook that sometimes things are beyond our control and that may just be fine as well.

Chris Alex Powell wrote: ↑March 5th, 2023, 11:02 am I think I understand this better, especially after reading the comments here. Sometimes we are faced with obstacles that impede our growth and we want to give up. However, is that the answer? I have experienced this in my place of work too, where I felt that certain changes would affect how things were. However, these changes became a way for me to grow even more because I played my cards well. I agree with the comment that emphasized the saying 'if you cannot go around it, go through it.'

Yes. I was having a hard time wrapping my head around the concept. But I believe that I understand after reading the comments as well. Growth only comes from try-fail cycles. Meeting a wall doesn't mean the end, it only means an opportunity to learn and adapt.

Amy Luman wrote: ↑February 3rd, 2023, 9:26 pm Isn’t there a saying, “if you can’t go around it, go through it”? That makes it become the way.

I love that!

Scott wrote: ↑January 12th, 2023, 10:37 pm Only by fully and unconditionally accepting the proverbial cards we are dealt (i.e. only by fully and unconditionally accepting that which cannot be changed) are we able to best play those cards.

By wasting even the smallest bit of time, energy, or resources resenting that which we know we cannot change, we thereby absolutely cannot play those proverbial cards the best we can, since our time, energy, and resources are all finite.

What's spent on one is taken from the other.

I've never thought about it this way. I think this is such a clever outlook, as not only does it inspire you to do the best you can with what you have, but it also inspires you to take your energy away from the negatives like what you don't or can never have. This way, you can put all of your energy into what is best. I really love this way of thinking!

"The mind adapts and converts to its own purposes the obstacle to our acting. The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way."
- Marcus Aurelius

I always love Marcus Aurelius' quotes. It is very true. The mind adapts to everything. What can't be changed, can't be. What can be changed, can be. So, focus on things that can be changed.

I agree with you on this: we shouldn't let our past stand in our way or spend time on regret because if we do, it becomes who we are.




 

I mostly agree that by unconditionally accepting unchangeable reality we can make the best of it. It sounds very pragmatic. What I do not agree with is the fatalistic note that I perceive in the uncompromising acceptance.

I really like this quote. It reminds me that what ever you work on will become the only thing. At some point in our lives we have to choose something to make a living with. If you have to get a job while trying to work on starting a small business then if you're not careful then your full time, make a living job will become the only thing you have energy for. 30 years later you're still working the same job no closer to your dream.

I love this idea Scott. I think it's so true that we can get so stuck on these things that we wre unable to change, that they can consume us, and make us feel horrible. If we can't change it, then by waste time on it? Worrying about it? We are unable to do anything even if we think and worry for years, so it really is an unnecessary use of our time and energy.

"What stands in the way becomes the way" as long as you can accept it and make it the new way. If we cannot go around an obstacle that is standing in our way, we must try to use it at our advantage. I believe there is a reason for things to be in our way.

Something to ponder about: What if the obstacle is actually telling us to change our way? Perhaps it is guiding us to chose a new route??

This is a new way of looking at things and I am intrigued. I used to think the obstacles are for you to solve them and learn from them, but using them to forge the path you want to go to is a new positive outlook. This is truly amazing!

I appreciate the quote from Marcus Aurelius and the wisdom it imparts. It's a reminder that our perspective and adaptability can play a significant role in how we approach obstacles in our lives.

I resonate deeply with the importance of unconditionally accepting the unchangeable aspects of reality. By doing so, we allow ourselves to focus on what we can control and take proactive steps to turn obstacles into opportunities. This mindset is crucial to thriving in an uncertain, ever-changing world full of unexpected challenges.

And violence takes it by force. Whatever stands in your way, should be trampled upon and used as a bridge to cross over to a brighter future. I don't believe in relenting. If I discover obstacles, I immediately look for ways to eradicate them.

I have never heard this quote before until I read this book. It's one of those sayings that'll be with you forever. An example I can think of that fits this quote is when a teenage girl gets pregnant. I've seen firsthand how that pregnancy changed the trajectory of her life. She always wanted to go to college but motherhood became her life's purpose. Being a mother stood in her way of going for her dreams and that's all what her life is about. But, as this book showcases, it's never too late to go for what you want. She decided to reset her life and now she owns her own business.

In our journey of personal development, we often confront barriers that hinder our progress and tempt us to abandon our pursuits. However, is surrendering truly the answer we seek? I have personally encountered this dilemma within the context of my workplace, where I initially harbored concerns that certain changes would disrupt the existing dynamics. Surprisingly, these very changes eventually presented themselves as opportunities for tremendous growth, as I strategically maneuvered through the challenges at hand.