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[Eckhart Aurelius Hughes]

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Hi Scott,

You have made it abundantly clear what your feelings are on honesty. What will you do when you discover one of your paid mentees or clients is dishonest? With this question, I mean that you have, without any doubt, discovered that the person is dishonest, e.g., you're representing an author, and another author proved that your client plagiarized his work.

Kind regards
Alida Spies

Hi, Alida Spies,

Thank you for your question!

In my opinion, the most important thing in all relationships is honesty. That includes all relationships, whether they are professional, personal, or romantic.

An important piece of advice I give to all my mentees is this: If you ever catch anyone in a lie or committing an act of intentional dishonesty, cut that person out of your life immediately, meaning end the relationship as fast as reasonably possible without giving them any warnings or second chances.

You are asking what I would do if I were in that situation. I'd do exactly what I advise my mentees to do. If I caught a business partner or paying client flat-out lying to me or doing other similar acts of intentional dishonesty, I would stop working with them as fast as reasonably possible (while still keeping my word) and then refuse to ever work with them again.

There have been times in the past, for example, in which I have told an author who has bought a review or advertising package from my company (OnlineBookClub) to never order another item or service from OnlineBookClub ever again and told them that if they do, I will cancel it and refund it. I am a non-negotiating extremist about some of my principles, including my dedication to honesty and integrity (as well as my commitment to the Non-Aggression Principle, meaning I likewise refuse to work with murderers and rapists and such).

I haven't always followed this advice in the past, though. Please know I learned much of this the so-called "hard way". In other words, the reason I know this advice is so important to follow, and so terribly expensive and self-destructive to not follow, is precisely because there were times in my past when I didn't follow it and thus found out firsthand what happens when you don't.

If you give someone who steals from you a second chance, they will steal from you again.

If you give someone who lies to your face a second chance, they will lie to your face again.

If you give someone who does something very intentionally dishonest (e.g. submits plagiarized articles/reviews as if they are their own) a second chance, they will just do it again—or something similarly destructive and dishonest in its place.

If you give a cheater a second chance, they will cheat on you again.

And the worst and most damaging cost to you isn't merely in the way they hurt you a second time the same way again; it's in the opportunity cost, namely in the time and energy you waste foolishly giving them a second chance and thereby missing your chance to find and get involved with one of the incredibly exceptional people in this world who is actually honest, which are literally one in a million.

The negative value (i.e. measurable damage) caused by having a liar, stealer, or cheater in your life, while significant and horrible, is almost nothing compared to the massive immeasurable loss of thus not getting to have an honest person in your life instead.

Honest people are so exceptionally and unbelievably valuable precisely because they are so exceptional and rare.

A dishonest person is like a pile of dog poop, a dirty pebble or a weed in your garden. Even if you valued and wanted it for some reason, it's still nearly worthless because it's so common. You will stumble on that petty commonality every day whether you want to or not.

In contrast, a truly honest and loyal person is like a huge pile of polished shimmering gold, bigger than you've ever seen or possibly even imagined. At least a huge pile of gold has a theoretical value you could calculate. An honest person is so much rarer and more valuable than even the gold that they are ultimately invaluable. Whether they are a business partner, a romantic partner, or even just a good lifelong friend, a single honest loyal person is so unfathomably valuable as to thus be invaluable.

Every second you waste on a dishonest person is a second taken away from your chance to find an honest person like that. Thus, the opportunity cost of wasting even a second of your time or the tiniest bit of energy on a dishonest person has an opportunity cost that is effectively infinite. To waste even one second on a liar is to lose more value than time or money can measure. That's because it reduces your chances of finding another honest person to partner with or work with or have as a friend, and those incredibly exceptional people are valuable beyond the capacity for time and money to measure.



With love,
Eckhart Aurelius Hughes
a.k.a. Scott

If you give a cheater a second chance, they will cheat on you again..png (4.1 MiB) Viewed 194 times

In addition to having authored his book, In It Together, Eckhart Aurelius Hughes (a.k.a. Scott) runs a mentoring program, with a free option, that guarantees success. Success is guaranteed for anyone who follows the program.

[Ajiferuke Ajibola]

And the worst and most damaging cost to you isn't merely in the way they hurt you a second time the same way again; it's in the opportunity cost, namely in the time and energy you waste foolishly giving them a second chance and thereby missing your chance to find and get involved with one of the incredibly exceptional people in this world who is actually honest, which are literally one in a million.