Philosophy Discussion Forums | A Humans-Only Club for Open-Minded Discussion & Debate

[LuckyR]

What is your understanding of how folks who you have told they're wrong about something, take in your declaration? To be clear, I'm not referring to how they respond verbally, I'm talking about what they think (silently) to themselves. Do you think they just accept that they're wrong? Do you think they deny what you're saying? Do you think they make excuses, "yeah, but..."?

Whatever you think people do, do you respond that way also?

[Lagayascienza]

I guess most people do all of the above sometimes.

A good piece of advice I was given in my youth was LTS: Listen first. Then Think. And, finally, Speak. Quite often we find that, although we were sure we were right, after listening and reflecting, we realize we've been mistaken. That's a good time time to speak. Or to wish we hadn't spoken prior to listening carefully and thinking first.

There are those who are not so good at listening and/or not so good at thinking about what has been said. And there are those who hate being wrong and who especially hate being told that they are wrong and who will double down even in the face of evidence that they are wrong. We can't do much for such folk.

I try to LTS, but there have been times when I have found it hard to stick to the advice I was given before mouthing off. As I've aged I hope have gotten a bit better at thinking and reflecting before speaking . Had I done more listening and thinking and less premature speaking when I was younger, I may have saved myself some embarrassment. But I'm guessing a lot of people can relate to that.

[Pattern-chaser]

What is your understanding of how folks who you have told they're wrong about something, take in your declaration? To be clear, I'm not referring to how they respond verbally, I'm talking about what they think (silently) to themselves. Do you think they just accept that they're wrong? Do you think they deny what you're saying? Do you think they make excuses, "yeah, but..."?

Whatever you think people do, do you respond that way also?

That's an interesting question. What do they "think (silently) to themselves"? I'm not sure. I/we can only guess from their outward reaction. But it appears that their first reaction is to attack. Or, as they might see it, counter-attack. But that's not what they think, nor even an approximation of it. That's what they *do*.

"Do you think they just accept that they're wrong?" Rarely, is my guess. Being told you're wrong is not received as a factual communication, it is a social challenge that must be answered. Or so it seems.

"Do you think they deny what you're saying?" Apparently, yes. Denial is the most common response, IME.

"Do you think they make excuses, "yeah, but..."?" Yes, we can all recognise this behaviour in others. Recognising it in ourselves is rather more difficult, it seems...

"Whatever you think people do, do you respond that way also? " Ooo, this is a harder question. There is what I like to think I do, and there is what I actually do. Even thinking about such things is ... upsetting, or unsettling. Our social conditioning guides us toward understanding being told we are wrong as an attack. It's more of a moral thing than an intellectual one.

I like to think that my first reaction to being told I'm wrong is to think "Am I? Have I got this wrong?" Then I attempt to see through my own fabricated excuses, if I can, and respond honestly. It's quite hard to do this, IME.

[LuckyR]

What is your understanding of how folks who you have told they're wrong about something, take in your declaration? To be clear, I'm not referring to how they respond verbally, I'm talking about what they think (silently) to themselves. Do you think they just accept that they're wrong? Do you think they deny what you're saying? Do you think they make excuses, "yeah, but..."?

Whatever you think people do, do you respond that way also?

That's an interesting question. What do they "think (silently) to themselves"? I'm not sure. I/we can only guess from their outward reaction. But it appears that their first reaction is to attack. Or, as they might see it, counter-attack. But that's not what they think, nor even an approximation of it. That's what they *do*.

"Do you think they just accept that they're wrong?" Rarely, is my guess. Being told you're wrong is not received as a factual communication, it is a social challenge that must be answered. Or so it seems.

"Do you think they deny what you're saying?" Apparently, yes. Denial is the most common response, IME.

"Do you think they make excuses, "yeah, but..."?" Yes, we can all recognise this behaviour in others. Recognising it in ourselves is rather more difficult, it seems...

"Whatever you think people do, do you respond that way also? " Ooo, this is a harder question. There is what I like to think I do, and there is what I actually do. Even thinking about such things is ... upsetting, or unsettling. Our social conditioning guides us toward understanding being told we are wrong as an attack. It's more of a moral thing than an intellectual one.

I like to think that my first reaction to being told I'm wrong is to think "Am I? Have I got this wrong?" Then I attempt to see through my own fabricated excuses, if I can, and respond honestly. It's quite hard to do this, IME.

Great (and honest) answers. Myself, I first consider the context. If I'm a student in something and being addressed by my instructor, I go into the interaction assuming I'm going to be wrong at something and I'm paying good money to be critiqued, so I embrace the correction.

If I don't respect the person who corrects me, either because they don't have a track record of excellence in the subject, or they have political reasons for displaying "superiority", I automatically assume they're wrong or that they may be correct but don't have the "right" to correct me (due to their shortcomings in the area).

I assume others who view me as an authority accept my correction, and those that don't categorize me in that light, view my declaration as an insult, so I rarely correct folks (unless it's part of a social "attack".

Obviously, I'm not including this Forum as part of my answer, as I assume folks are expecting opposing opinions and life experiences here, as I do.

[Pattern-chaser]

Great (and honest) answers. Myself, I first consider the context...

Yes, my answers offer nothing close to a complete answer, and "context", for example, is nearly always vital to any meaningful understanding of ... just about anything. As you say, there are many other influences too.