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[Eckhart Aurelius Hughes]

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If you try to win, you choose to lose. As my book teaches, trying is lying. Don't try. Be honest. Do you best, and fully and unconditionally accept the rest, with an acceptance so full and unconditional it warrants the word love.

Show me someone who says they are trying to lose weight, and I'll show you someone who isn't going to lose weight and who is being dishonest about their choices, goals, and/or abilities.

Show me someone who says they are trying to not cheat on their spouse, and I'll show you a dishonest liar who is very soon going to cheat on their spouse and who is being dishonest about their choices, goals, and/or abilities.

Show me someone who says they are trying to quit alcohol, and I'll show you someone who is going to keep choosing to drink and who is being dishonest about their choices, goals, and/or abilities.

Show me someone who resentfully says, "I am trying to win this game of cards, but the cards I get dealt are crap. This is evil. If there's a god, he's evil for causing me to be dealt cards as terribly bad as this. Aspects of this world that are out of my control are bad, resentment-worthy, and hate-worthy, and I hate them and resent them for being the way they are."

Then, I'll show you someone who isn't playing the cards to the best of their ability, meaning they are wasting some of their very limited time and very limited energy on resentment, unforgiveness, hate, and/or complaining/whining/bitching about the cards they are dealt. One cannot be playing cards to their best of their ability if they are choosing to waste even the smallest bit of their very limited time and energy like that. They are functionally choosing to lose. And once the tournament gets competitive enough or goes on long enough, even extreme luck can't save them. A lucky draw might make it seem like a crappy poker player won one hand, but, play enough hands with them, and then their terrible loser strategy inevitably reveals itself. You won't find any loser-choosers winning gold at the Olympics. Even if you are the luckiest person in the world, half-assing it will only get you so far, and that's not very far at all.

The one who is trying to lose weight might stick to a diet for a day or two, but the looser-choosers always lose in the end.

The one who is trying to quit alcohol might stay sober for a day or two, but the looser-choosers always lose in the end.

The one who is trying to not cheat on their spouse might not stay faithful for a day or two, but the looser-choosers always lose in the end.

Trying is lying. Don't try, ever. Be honest. Take full self-responsibility for your choices, do your honest best, and fully accept the rest.

If you choose to waste even one tiny bit of your very limited time and very limited energy on dishonest trying or on resenting or complaining about their cards you are dealt, or any form of resentment, unforgiveness, or hate at all, then you are choosing to lose.

And you will be successful. You will succeed at losing.

As my book says, when it comes to your choices, you always get exactly what you want, meaning what you choose.


With love,
Eckhart Aurelius Hughes
a.k.a. Scott

Trying is lying and induces misery (i.e. a lack of inner peace).

Both failure and spiritual slavery are miserable illusions (a.k.a. nightmarish phantoms or hellish nightmares).

Honesty is the non-negotiable key to true happiness (a.k.a. inner peace or spiritual fulfillment).

If you can be honest without being brutal, go for it. But my advice is this: Never choose non-brutality over honesty. If in a given situation being honest means being brutally honest, then be brutal honest.

Don't choose the miserable imprisoning comfort zone over freedom and true happiness.
true-happiness-comes-from-honesty.png (555.42 KiB) Viewed 3209 times

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In addition to having authored his book, In It Together, Eckhart Aurelius Hughes (a.k.a. Scott) runs a mentoring program, with a free option, that guarantees success. Success is guaranteed for anyone who follows the program.

[Bertha Jackson]

I tried to teach my children this while they were growing up. Every time they would tell me they were trying to do something, I would tell them that I was glad they were trying. But saying they were trying meant they were open to finding an excuse to fail. It was better for them to say that they would do something because it closed the door on excuses. I was happy to see that my children discouraged their children from ever using the word "trying."

[Sushan]

I think you make a compelling point about the interplay between effort and acceptance. Indeed, recognizing the value of "trying" as a sincere effort rather than a sign of insincerity or failure is crucial. This approach fosters resilience and growth, allowing individuals to navigate the challenges of their pursuits constructively.

Your example of Olympic athletes particularly resonates with me. It illustrates beautifully how success is often the result of relentless effort, learning, and adaptation, not merely the absence of failure. This perspective encourages a healthier, more productive attitude towards the inevitable setbacks we all face.

Moreover, integrating effort with acceptance, as you suggest, provides a balanced framework for personal development. It allows individuals to pursue their goals with dedication while maintaining a sense of peace with whatever the outcomes might be. This dual approach can mitigate feelings of frustration and inadequacy that might arise from unmet expectations, promoting a more fulfilling and sustainable path to personal achievements.

Thank you for this insight.

[Surabhi Rani]

If we try to win, we choose to lose. Trying is lying. We must do our best, with an acceptance so full and unconditional it warrants the word love. When it comes to our choices, we get exactly what we want or choose. I agree that we must do our honest best, and fully accept the rest.

[Miracle Kingss]

When I get up and just go about my business without adhering to set guidelines or routines, I genuinely feel a lot better and happier.

[Onyinyechi Obi]

This is very true. I’m a trader of the financial and what I do is that I do what I ought to do and leave the rest to the market. Sometimes trying is not just enough. You have to be conscious and do what you ought to do

[Onuoha Joy]

I would always choose someone who gave it a shot to someone who just didn’t do it because he was scared to lose

[Edah Chemonges]

This sounds like the worst advice ever at the first instance. But in the book, we see that often a dishonest effort driven by ego and future anxiety. Instead, we should be doing oursbest in the present moment, and fully accepting whatever results.

[Edah Chemonges]

Also, much of the stress and failure associated with trying comes from ego-driven desires. I think that when efforts are rooted in the ego's need for validation, success becomes elusive because the actions are not authentic. Authentic actions, on the other hand, are honest and aligned with one's true self, leading to genuine success and fulfillment.

[Risper Ouma Lisa Anyango]

Trying to win or Trying to do anything else is simply doom8bg your self or setting your self up for failure. Rather, choose to win and work towards that goal.

[Leona Rodrigues]

Yes, indeed one must always try their best and not only concentrate on winning. Sometimes when we concentrate just on winning, we lose all the fun we could have.

[Eromosele Success]

Wow, this could be the best thing i've read today. The instance with the poker player just says a whole lot. Brilliant!

[Eziokwu960]

I agree. Genuine success comes from a commitment to honest effort and full acceptance of outcomes beyond our control.

[Onuoha Joy]

This is the first time I agree to something like this. I agree with the author we can always do better and when it doesn’t go our way after that then it wasn’t for us to begin with

[Hilda Murithi]

Very true! Instead of trying, it's better to just do it. Most people who say they are "trying" aren't even trying, to be honest. I feel like we should just be honest with ourselves and actually stop glossing over things we would have done already.