- February 15th, 2024, 9:45 am
#455884
The terrible smell.
I remember the drive from Sorento to the outskirts of Alton, my mother at the wheel of our pale-green 1957 Impala. I remember arriving at the long driveway entrance of the state hospital and parking. At the time it never occurred to me to find it odd that there were so few cars in the visitors’ parking lot at a mental hospital that housed nearly 4000 patients. I remember walking up the steps of the main building to register for our visitors passes at the office. I remember the smell that invaded my nostrils the instant we opened the door to enter the building. A smell so revolting I parted my lips to mouth-breathe for the remainder of our visit. A smell of urine and feces and body odor and the disinfectant used to scrub all the surfaces but which could not remove the smell. A smell of mentally and physically debilitated human beings warehoused for years, for the rest of their lives, in an institution whose buildings covered acres, an institution so large it had its own power plant, its own farm, its own medical clinic complete with xray and an operating room. . A smell that followed us into the cafeteria where it was impossible for me to take even a bite of food because the act of chewing would force me to breathe through my nose. A smell that preceded the sight of my father, in hospital pajamas and slippers shuffling down the corridor to meet us for our weekly visit. A smell that stayed in my nose, my hair, my skin, on my clothes even after we left the hospital and drove home with the car windows cranked wide open, summer or winter. I remember.