Philosophy Discussion Forums | A Humans-Only Club for Open-Minded Discussion & Debate

[Somtochukwu olisagozie N]

What are your life principles, and how can I learn to imbibe them in my life?

[Moisés Alcántara Ayre]

Stepping back and letting OnlineBook Club start its own way forward seems like you're not clinging to it. I'm not sure that I'd do the same thing. What's your vision for your own life?

[Joy Wendy]

How do I improve my spiritual life? I noticed that I have been lagging behind. Everything seems confusing right now. What books should I read?

[Victory Ositaorah]

How do you handle a salesperson who loses money twice and describes it as an error in miscalculation. The worker seems to be normal and hardworking. Just the unaccountability.

[Juma Florence]

In your book 'In It Together, you say that "there is no problem with evil because there is no evil.” Can you explain why you believe that there is no evil?

[Eckhart Aurelius Hughes]

Hi, Somtochukwu olisagozie N,

Thank you for your question.

What are your life principles, and how can I learn to imbibe them in my life?

My life principles are explained in my book, In It Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All.

You can imbibe them in your life by following all 11 of the numbered suggestions at the the end of the book.


With love,
Eckhart Aurelius Hughes
a.k.a. Scott

[Budding Author]

What, according to you, has been the best book you've ever read? In all the genres.

[MehulPan]

I'd love to know your favourite books in all genres. Like your favourite horror book, your favourite thriller book etc.

[Abbra Marsh]

Hey! Thanks for including me here, I’ve got a question for you. If you see the mind being a terrible master, what do you think about taking spontaneous actions i.e. acting first without being mindful of consequences or outcomes?

[Moisés Alcántara Ayre]

Scott,
I'd like to know about your core values and how they have a pathway for your life in general.

[Risper Ouma Lisa Anyango]

For those who don't know, I am Eckhart Aurelius Hughes.

Post any questions you have for me as a reply to this topic, and I will do my best answer.

It can be a question about anything. It can be about me, about the book, or about anything else!




ask-me-anything.jpg

What inspired you to create online book club and turn it into an internet based company given the fact that the digital error wasn't so famous at the time of it's creation.

[Eckhart Aurelius Hughes]

If you haven't already, you can sign up to be personally mentored by Scott "Eckhart Aurelius" Hughes at this link.

Stepping back and letting OnlineBook Club start its own way forward seems like you're not clinging to it. I'm not sure that I'd do the same thing. What's your vision for your own life?

Hi, Moisés Alcántara Ayre,

Thank you for your intriguing question!

I think it is worth noting, as my book talks about in detail, that a major crucial aspect of my philosophy and of the basis of my invincible inner peace (a.k.a. true happiness) is in not making a false idol of the future, and, in other words, not being in a toxic abusive relationship with other-aged versions of Scott/Eckhart (i.e. my so-called past and future selves).

The habits of unhappiness that persistently unhappy people have tend to be feedback loops. The symptoms are also causes, and the causes are also symptoms, and both are sometimes actually more like dishonest excuses dishonestly being purported to oneself or others as a cause or symptom. That's because, unlike free-spirited inner peace which entails loving acceptance of truth and reality, unhappiness entails dishonesty and denial and self-deception and delusion. Many times the unhappy person will blame as reason what is actually just an excuse. For instance, as I wrote in my post about savior complexes and the self-abusive misery they cause, "Unhappy people find comfort in blaming others... Unhappy people want to try to save the world by re-creating the world in their unhappy image to their unhappy standards. And they--luckily--inevitably fail, and get to blame their unhappiness on their failure, meaning on the world being the way it is, unsaved by them. Many times, people aren't really looking to be happy--meaning to have consistent inner peace--but rather looking for an excuse or scapegoat for their misery."

One of the most common symptoms/causes/excuses of unhappiness is the habit of making a false idol of the future. My book, In It Together, gives some specific examples on page 171:

It would not be unusual for that seemingly very lucky human to lack inner peace and discontentedly tell themselves, maybe while ungratefully sitting on their toilet, “Once I make a million dollars, then I will finally be happy and at peace,” or, “Once I lose 20 lbs, then I will finally be happy and at peace,” or, “Once I get married and have kids, then I will finally be happy and at peace.”

Or, perhaps, “Once I get divorced from this selfish jerk and get to enjoy being single again, then I will finally be happy and at peace.” Or, perhaps they don’t want a divorce. Perhaps they say, “Once my selfish immature jerk of a spouse grows up, takes self-responsibility, and starts acting right, then I can finally be happy and at peace.” “Once this pain in my leg goes away, I can finally be happy and at peace.”

“Once I get a new career, I can finally be happy and at peace.” Instead of looking around with gratitude and awe at all things to be grateful for in their present... they look to an imaginary future of not only greener grass but grass that is finally going to be green enough one day allegedly.

That kind of misery-excusing and misery-inducing future idolization is really also sort a form of that aforementioned miserable restless savior complex that is so common among miserable unhappy people who lack the grace of free-spirited inner peace.

You can imagine two people in a toxic abusive romantic relationship with one (or both) constantly blaming their unhappiness on their partner and on the toxic relationship itself, and being addicted to wanting to fix and save their partner and fix and save the relationship. It's a toxic savior complex that emerges from an utter lack of self-responsibility (and by extension self-discipline and spiritual freedom and the inner peace that comes with such free-spirited self-responsibility).

In the lingo of my book, your so-called future self (i.e. older versions of the human you see in the mirror) are just as much of an 'other' as a partner in a romantic relationship or a neighbor across the street or as a sibling, parent, or child.

As I wrote in this post in the public Q&A: "Self-responsibility (and by extension self-discipline, spiritual freedom, and inner peace) is, I think, less about taking responsibility for oneself and more about not taking undue responsibility for others."

That's as true when the so-called 'other' is a family member, neighbor, or romantic partner as it is true when the 'other' is your older future self.

By all means, be loving and kind to your future self and to your others in space (siblings, children, parents, neighbors, romantic partners, etc.). But, in both cases, follow the important teaching from page 174 of my book:

"True love is not sacrificing your happiness for another; true love is being happy to sacrifice."

Don't use saving/helping others and making others happy as an excuse, cause, and/or symptom of failing to choose to be happy in your unique present right right now, meaning choose to have and enjoy the wonderful infinite pleasure of invincible free-spirited inner peace, which is often exemplified by things like consistently practicing gratitude, day in day out no matter what. That kind of true happiness (i.e. free-spirited inner peace) is 100% a matter of your choice.

What's my vision for Scott's/Eckhart's future? This is extremely similar and analogous to asking me what my vision is for my children's future. What do I want my son to be when he grows up? What do I want my daughter to be? What jobs do I want them to have? What kind of spouses do I want them to marry? Do I even want them to get married? College? Hobbies? Habits?

Being a control freak goes hand-in-hand with having a miserable savior complex, and both are indicative of one lacking self-responsibility, lacking self-discipline, and lacking the wonderful true happiness that is free-spirited inner peace. When one feels out of control of themselves (i.e. feels like a miserable spiritual slave or prisoner rather than a happy free spirit), then one compensates by being a control freak towards others, including one's future self. Consider the seemingly out of control binge eater or drinker on the weekend who claims thier Monday-self will go on an extreme diet starting Monday and controllingly expects their Monday-self to actually do that and follow that draconian, authoritarian, miserable diet. Taking undue responsibility of what tomorrow-me does would be a symptom of today-me failing to take self-responsibility for what today-me is doing, right here right now, in his unique present; trespassing on your neighbor's backyard to force him to make it your version of clean is usually just a way to distract yourself from your failure to make your own yard match your own version of clean.

That kind of miserable controlling judging desperate taking of undue responsibility (and judgement) of others is a symptom, excuse, and cause of the control freak's lack of self-responsibility and lack of self-discipline and corresponding lack of the true happiness that comes with such free-spirited self-responsibility.

When I step out in the boxing ring, I don't need to have a specific vision of exactly how I want the fight to go. I can step out and confidently let my opponent surprise me with his opening moves. If he has a very specific vision of exactly how he wants the fight to go, it's so easy for me to simply nudge hid plan slightly off-track and completely destroy that control freak's vision, thereby turning him from ridiculously over-prepared (for a hypothetical match that only ever existed in his imagination) to completely unprepared for the actual match we end up having.

I say all that just to say these two things:

#1 -- My top priority is in being truly happy in my unique present right here, right now. It's not future Scott's/Eckhart's happiness, and it's not even my kids' happiness now or in their future. That's their responsibility and their freedom, both in terms of my kids and my older future self. Freedom means self-responsibility. In my lingo, it's what it means. I love my literal kids, and I love my future self, and I often happily make loving sacrificed for them out of kindness, with no expectation of gratitude or that it will actually make them happy; but rather I do it because it makes me happy in my present to make loving sacrifices for them. Like anyone, if they (e.g. my kids or my older self) are looking for a savior, they need to look into a mirror, not to the specific-aged version of me who writes this now. We each have all we need to be happy in our present (i.e. to choose free-spirited inner peace); nobody else can make us have it and nobody can stop us from having it, including our past younger self, and including our literal parents.

#2 -- My plan is not to worry about what cards I will be dealt, but to just teach myself the fundamental habits of figurative card playing so that no matter what those cards are I can follow my plan of doing the following: Unconditionally and fully accepting those cards and playing them the best I can.


My vision for the future of my life is to deal with and make the most of whatever life throws at me by following the teachings of my book, and thereby continuing to get to enjoy the consistent unwavering true happiness that is invincible free-spirited inner peace, with deep gratitude and a wonderful spiritual joy. It is, in part, to lead by example in the fullest and most poignant sense possible. For those who realize how utterly foolish and self-destructive it is to ever take any advice from unhappy people, I want to be a shining star they can use on their journey, especially since I've already created a map for them to walk this path I walk, by which I mean my book.



With love,
Eckhart Aurelius Hughes
a.k.a. Scott

In It Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All, page 171
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Be happy now.



---
In addition to having authored his book, In It Together, Eckhart Aurelius Hughes (a.k.a. Scott) runs a mentoring program, with a free option, that guarantees success. Success is guaranteed for anyone who follows the program.

[Shirley Labzentis]

Hi Scott,
One thing I have learned in my life of 72 years is that you cannot control what your children do in life. You may want them to go to college, but they will drop out. You may want them to marry someone, but they will marry someone totally wrong for them. You may offer advice, but they don't take it. You may disagree with their parenting skills, but cannot do anything about it. Your grandchildren will do whatever they want to, good or bad, and it's out of your hands. Life is short and after you have raised your children and they are out on their own, be happy with yourself and your life. Do things that make you happy. It sounds like you are happy with your life now and I commend you for being a full-time dad, but you should try and let the control freak part of you ease off. You will only be disappointed in your future self and that of your children.

[Okoth Omondi]

For those who don't know, I am Eckhart Aurelius Hughes.

Post any questions you have for me as a reply to this topic, and I will do my best answer.

It can be a question about anything. It can be about me, about the book, or about anything else!




ask-me-anything.jpg

Could you delve into the inspiration behind your book? Additionally, I'm curious to learn more about your writing process – the methods and approaches you employed to bring your creative vision to life.

[Eckhart Aurelius Hughes]

How do I improve my spiritual life? I noticed that I have been lagging behind. Everything seems confusing right now.

Hi, Joy Wendy,

Thank you for your question. For that goal, you will want to read my book, In It Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All. In fact, you will want to read it twice.

The reason you will want to read it twice is explained in this post.

The book contains 11 suggestions at the end. You will want to do your absolute best to implement all 11 suggestions at that end, which will greatly improve your spiritual life, as you put it, and, in other words, help you achieve free-spirited inner peace (a.k.a. true happiness), including the incredible grace and spiritual freedom (a.k.a. self-discipline) that comes with that.


With love,
Eckhart Aurelius Hughes
a.k.a. Scott

The author, Eckhart Aurelius Hughes (right), with guests at the book release party for In It Together
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