Philosophy Discussion Forums | A Humans-Only Philosophy Club

[Raymonda Onwuka 1]

I can't agree less, compassion without boundaries is extremely toxic. Those set of being that always abuse love are the most manipulative set of being. They make you feel bad for their ungratefulness. Boundaries are always needed.

[Tom Gada]

Without limits, compassion can indeed become toxic, leading to harmful enabling, codependency, and burnout.

In the case of an ungrateful person, providing more and more with no change in behavior only reinforces their entitlement. Furthermore, it may detract from your own self-care and well-being. Setting boundaries, such as refusing to enable ungrateful behavior, can help create a healthier dynamic for both parties.

[Victor Obonyo]

I thoroughly agree with this viewpoint. I think it is easily seen in the context of addiction. Enabling addiction that is harmful for the addict is not love, it is harm. The addict may request something (such as alcohol) and express gratitude and appreciation when it is received, but providing the harmful substance is not compassionate or loving. I think the same thing goes for constantly providing services for someone who doesn’t understand the burden of the service. For instance, a parent always doing a kid’s homework or science project when they forget or don’t feel like doing the work is not love, it doesn’t teach the child anything, and it won’t serve them in the long-run despite the greatest intentions of the parent. Great discussion topic!

[rudi dani]

Boundaries are important, but throwing someone struggling with addiction or a toxic situation under the bus with a "tough love" "no" isn't always the answer. Compassion can be a powerful motivator for change. Sometimes, showing someone you care and offering support, even if it means some temporary enabling, can be the first step towards them taking responsibility. Just abandoning them might make you feel better in the short term, but it might also leave them feeling hopeless and even worse off. There's a middle ground between being a doormat and being a heartless jerk. Maybe true compassion involves finding ways to support someone while also gently nudging them towards healthier choices.

[Silvia Orenge]

True happiness and inner peace are indeed within our control, as they often stem from our own thoughts, choices, and actions. While it's important to care for and support others, sacrificing our own well-being to an extreme extent can be self-abuse rather than a demonstration of love; therefore, a balanced approach that combines love for others with self-responsibility ensures a healthier and more sustainable path to happiness and inner peace.

[Chinedum Chijioke]

Compassion should always be accompanied by firm boundaries. Achieving a balance between providing assistance and upholding healthy boundaries is crucial.

[Sonia Lurk]

Since unbridled compassion can occasionally result in enabling behavior, it is imperative to establish appropriate limits. Finding a balance between self-preservation and empathy is crucial.

[Marissa Maniaci]

I have a really difficult time setting boundaries on my compassion in my role as an educator. I want to ensure I'm supporting students and giving them the best opportunities to learn and succeed, but I sometimes find that I'm enabling irresponsible educational behaviors that won't benefit them in other classes or in their workplace. As the end of the school year is approaching, many students are beginning to panic because their lack of effort throughout the year is resulting in them failing the course and needing to retake it before they can graduate. While I do want to support them if they acknowledge their mistakes and make strides to improve, I don't want to teach them that they can slack off for 75% of the school year and then scrape by in the last 25% because of the compassion of their teachers. I think it is more useful to have them face that hard love moment and realize their actions have consequences that don't always come with an easy fix.